I love you?

"Why is everyone telling me 'I love you', are they in love with me or something?"

A round of laughter accompanied Cara's exasperated statement as she tried to explain to us that she felt weird whenever people told her they loved her.

Why is that? Have we really used the phrase so much that the meaning has been skewed, that we don't really know how to interpret it? There's romantic love, friend love, puppy love... and Agape love.

Love. Ugh, whenever I hear that word by itself, or see it, it makes me recoil inside. Mental images of hearts, heart-shaped balloons, cheesy chick flicks, and romantic couples crowd my mind, along with some roses, heart-shaped chocolates and little naked angels. Love... I don't get it. There are too many dimensions, too many facets to just take it at "I love you," and move on.

I made a funny statement which I didn't intend to come out the way it did, and the response I received was, "Oh, Lesley, I love you."

Another friend apologized for making a boo-boo in our friendship and ended his speech with, "I love you."

I had a sleepover with one of my friends and before we fell asleep, we exchanged that same phrase... "Good night, I love you."

I was completely exhausted, and I cried to the Lord, "Why don't I have someone to love me, God?" and He said, "I love you."

Friday morning, the last day of our mission trip, I heard that word again... love. But this was different, a new look at something I thought I'd heard all about already. Agape love. What? What's that?

This is the love the Father gave His children. It's not necessarily a romantic love, it's definitely not used flippantly, and it's all-enduring. It's the kind of love we receive from Christ to channel to others. We aren't supposed to store it inside like a dam. This love is 1)not quick to be angry at those who wrong us, 2)it casts out fears, and 3)it forgives the wrongs which have been committed. This love loves even when it doesn't like. Here's a good example, since it's fresh on my mind.

This week, I felt insulted by one of my close friends. It seemed as though he didn't approve of me, as if I was doing it all wrong and I shouldn't even strive to achieve an end. Instantaneous shock turned into hurt, which fermented and stirred anger within me. I didn't talk to him for two days, and though I felt belittled and inadequate, I still loved him, deep down. This had to be some form of love outside of myself, because if it were only me, I still wouldn't be communicating with him. As it is, God granted me just enough patience to endure a talk-out so my friend and I could make amends. It wasn't a romantic love, it wasn't a puppy love... it was something else.

In the mini-sermon that Friday morning, the pastor said something which stuck in my head... he'd been a counselor for young couples preparing to get married, and he'd ask them this question, "Why do you think you want to get married?" some would answer, "Well, because we're in love," and he'd shake his head and say that that was not a good enough reason for marriage. Once the infatuation is diminished, you both see each other's flaws, and put up with their habits, what is your foundation if it only started out as, "We're in love"? The only acceptable answer to that question, he said, was "Because God has joined us together." In that way, God is the foundation, not emotions. I had heard the phrase, "a cord of three strands is not easily broken," and always applied it to this concept, but I like the way this one guy puts it when explaining Ecclesiastes 4:8-12 (from http://members.becon.org/~gprins/i/rope.html)


"Yes, a three-strand rope is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:8-12 has an interesting perspective on this subject. It throws out numbers such as one man, always alone, works and toils senselessly. It is hard for him to keep warm by himself. On the other hand, two are better than one, for they have a good return to their work. If one falls down, his friend can pick him up. Two can keep warm when they lie down and two can defend one another. Finally, in verse 12, it ends with "a cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
So we ask, "What is the third link in all of this?" I propose to you that the third missing ingredient is God himself. We need God to fuse our relationship as we work and toil in this life. Yes, we need each other, but if God is not present in the formula, the strength of our rope is not there. That verse also says that God does not easily wish to break from us either. It is not up to us to try and keep Him in our three-strand rope."

It's an interesting little note the guy wrote, if you care to look it up and read the rest, but I felt that this part is really what I wanted to present. I don't think I need to explain anymore...

Just to let you know, I don't have this down, I'm not good at loving with a love like Christ had, I'm so... human. I get mad, I accuse myself as guilty of angry thoughts, but God is hard at work changing my outlook, my perspective, to match His. It's an awesome experience, if you're willing to let tears fall, give up everything you think you control (job security, relationships, finances..) and listen to what He tells you to do (still working on that...).

I never know what makes sense when I write... I just get it out there, share my thoughts, and see what God does with it. Thanks to those who have taken the time out of their day to read what I have to say, and for writing me to tell me your thoughts, struggles, your perspectives... I love you :)